My name is Shaheem. That is the name I go by anyway, I chose that name when I entered " Islam " through the Sunni door around 10 years ago, though I ultultimately decided not to stay and left through the back door keeping only the Quaran and a cool new name. I was not born a " muslim " and do have an English name on paper, though I was never too fond of it. I'm 33 years old and live in NSW Australia where i was born and raised, in a city not far from Sydney. I live alone, and have been essentially alone in life from the age of 18. I first encountered " Islam " when working for a Bosnian man as a painter in my early 20's. In conversation with him one day i told him of an unusual experience i once had at the age of 17 which made me question my atheistic understanding of the world which i had lazily adopted from my mother, something i had once seen. I had this experience a few days after delving into/learning about occult related things within Hollywood and ofcourse the elite, (freemasonry etc, the usual suspects). When sharing with him what i had experienced, he responded in a very prominent way, and explained to me what he believed I had experienced from a Quaranic point of view. I was intrigued, because I had never received an atheistic " logical " explanation of my experience that made any sense. I ultimately just kept it in the back of my mind and continued life. He also referred to me as a moor upon learning i was Hispanic and would tell me about the moors which also intrigued me. He would eventually give me a Quaran which i nagged him for some what, though when i finally got it, i never read it studiously, though, I learned enough to be convinced it was likely the word of God. I went back and forth in my mind over the years as to whether it was true, or simply another of man's falsehoods/inventions. Though once again, i mostly put it in the back of my mind and continued life. Some years later, after enduring several months of homelessness and other joys which i have been lucky enough to enjoy multiple times throughout my life, I was walking past a mosque, and complained to the Imam through the fence, asking what does the mosque do for the community. After speaking with him, he asked if i was a muslim, i said yes, though i knew almost nothing. He told me to come back another day, which i did. I stated that i believed the Quaran to be the word of God, which was honestly based largely on a hunch/reason rather than extensive scholarly research, though i have certainly done my homework over the years, and my faith is sincere. They eagerly did the " shahada " nonsense and i jumped through all the hoops, got a few hugs, and received the gift of a sweaty kufi from off a brothers head. Shortly after that i was told by a " brother " " by the way, you have to follow these books too " (hadith). I asked what they were, if they were the word of God (Divine), who wrote them, etc. I wasn't impressed with the answers i received, and said that i will not accept them. He ofcourse barked " if you do not accept the hadith you are not a muslim! ". I carried on despite this for some years, and would attend jummah, and go along with the phony brotherhood thing and all the rest, and just kept my thoughts on the haddith to myself, as they were never responded to kindly if I shared them. I used to get annoyed at jummah when they would quote haddith all day and never mention the quaran. And felt the same about scholars when I would listen to them. and I couldn't help but laugh at the content of a hadith book i flicked through as I sat in the mosque one day that spoke about Mohammed having peoples homes burnt down for some nonsense. Eventually I distanced myself from the mosque and would just keep to myself, and over time would drop any " muslim " practices I carelessly inherited that I found the quaran did not support. I've lived what can only be described as a terrible life, some main themes being poverty, homelessness, hopelessness and violence, with a side of PTSD. I am not some great student of the Quaran. And leaving out some unpleasant details, whilst I have accomplished a lot over the years, I Have spent much of my life just " doing my time " and trying to be as comfortable as possible while I do my bid (metaphorically speaking). Though in the last couple of years I decided to try to adopt a better mind set, and while doing so have gotten more sincere in trying to follow the Quaran (brother Gerrans translation) and seek the good reward of Allah. I've made some very good moves on the chess board of my life during this time, and ultimately will be living in south east Asia within 12 months, maybe 6, receiving a passive income, where I plan to get married and live a peaceful and righteous life. And that's about as much as I can condense things. Thanks for reading. Peace be upon you
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, just looking for someone to pick on. Doing quite well these days thankfully. Could definitely lose a kilo or two haha. The Christians are just as eager to mislead men, but at least they feed people and all the rest. But that's just because they're really plugged into the government, of which they are an arm of. That was the imams excuse also. But you know, I could never help but wonder, when I would see the Turkish owner of the mosque come to collect the zakat money out of the donation box, and drive off in his Mercedes-Benz. That mosque has had many renovations since, looking quite nice. The government footing the bill. They are quite pally it seems with a local member of parliament which is interesting.