My name is Hunter. Currently living in east Texas USA, if anyone's around let me know haha.
Little bit of background, I was raised a Christian, only went to church until I was like 10. My parents were really relaxed, and taught us essentially to just believe Jesus died for your sins, and your saved. Nothing else really matters as far as entering heaven. Be good person, but belief is more important.
Believe, die, heaven / Don't believe, die, hell. Which always reminds me of Quran 2:94 even though It's directed at the Israelites, I think it applies to this train of thought. What's the point of life then?
I had never read the bible, so I ended up starting that around 2018. From the first book, against my fathers advice. (which I find interesting looking back)
Around that time I started watching a live streamer named Owen Benjamin. The majority of his talks were about conspiracies; disgusting nature of Hollywood; occasional focus around beautiful things that actually matter in life; etc. I think he was a really good teacher for me in my early 20's. I learned a lot of what seems obvious now. Not everything has to be black or white, and I started to think and reason more. Eventually his viewers convinced him to look into flat earth, which led me into looking into it, and believing it myself for a time. Nowadays I don't really know, or care that much.
What really set me off in this whole direction was one stream he said, "Jesus never claimed to be God in the bible." which at the time really made me uncomfortable hearing, more so than anything else I'd heard him say. I couldn't accept, or deny what he said. I barely touched the new testament before, and I was still somewhere in Isaiah listening to the audio book for the 10th time because it's REALLY hard to understand. So I just ended up skipping ahead mostly to reassure myself of my belief I must admit.
And what did I find? A whole lot of nothing. Guesswork. Things you have to assume to believe, and to guess what is meant. I ended up watching Bart Ehrman's videos on the preservation of the bible, and it became a distorted history book to me. So I just believed in one Creator for a while. Eventually I would start binge watching Muslim content, read/listened to the Quran, then convert stories. Which sent me into fully embracing that this is the book I wanted the bible to be.
I was convinced the Quran was from God. I didn't go to a mosque for quite some time, but I learned how to pray online and watched typical Sunni things. Learned how to read Arabic, learned essential/basic vocab. Hadith looked a little like wizard magic to me, but I accepted a lot of them ignorantly. I watched a lot of Mufti Abu Layth, another against the flock individual the mainstream doesn't like, and that was about it for hadiths for me. About 2 years later things changed when I moved back in with my parents in Texas. I was a lot closer to a mosque, and I was trying to get my life going a little better, so I went. I met a lot of kind people and despite what I felt inside, went along with traditions for months, but it felt like forever. Eventually I hit the limit of how long I could continue lying to myself, and ended up just not going anymore about 6 months ago. I've since started going back to watching youtube channels and things with more focus on the reality we live in you might say. Currently reading the Sam Gerrans translation.
Little bit of background, I was raised a Christian, only went to church until I was like 10. My parents were really relaxed, and taught us essentially to just believe Jesus died for your sins, and your saved. Nothing else really matters as far as entering heaven. Be good person, but belief is more important.
Believe, die, heaven / Don't believe, die, hell. Which always reminds me of Quran 2:94 even though It's directed at the Israelites, I think it applies to this train of thought. What's the point of life then?
I had never read the bible, so I ended up starting that around 2018. From the first book, against my fathers advice. (which I find interesting looking back)
Around that time I started watching a live streamer named Owen Benjamin. The majority of his talks were about conspiracies; disgusting nature of Hollywood; occasional focus around beautiful things that actually matter in life; etc. I think he was a really good teacher for me in my early 20's. I learned a lot of what seems obvious now. Not everything has to be black or white, and I started to think and reason more. Eventually his viewers convinced him to look into flat earth, which led me into looking into it, and believing it myself for a time. Nowadays I don't really know, or care that much.
What really set me off in this whole direction was one stream he said, "Jesus never claimed to be God in the bible." which at the time really made me uncomfortable hearing, more so than anything else I'd heard him say. I couldn't accept, or deny what he said. I barely touched the new testament before, and I was still somewhere in Isaiah listening to the audio book for the 10th time because it's REALLY hard to understand. So I just ended up skipping ahead mostly to reassure myself of my belief I must admit.
And what did I find? A whole lot of nothing. Guesswork. Things you have to assume to believe, and to guess what is meant. I ended up watching Bart Ehrman's videos on the preservation of the bible, and it became a distorted history book to me. So I just believed in one Creator for a while. Eventually I would start binge watching Muslim content, read/listened to the Quran, then convert stories. Which sent me into fully embracing that this is the book I wanted the bible to be.
I was convinced the Quran was from God. I didn't go to a mosque for quite some time, but I learned how to pray online and watched typical Sunni things. Learned how to read Arabic, learned essential/basic vocab. Hadith looked a little like wizard magic to me, but I accepted a lot of them ignorantly. I watched a lot of Mufti Abu Layth, another against the flock individual the mainstream doesn't like, and that was about it for hadiths for me. About 2 years later things changed when I moved back in with my parents in Texas. I was a lot closer to a mosque, and I was trying to get my life going a little better, so I went. I met a lot of kind people and despite what I felt inside, went along with traditions for months, but it felt like forever. Eventually I hit the limit of how long I could continue lying to myself, and ended up just not going anymore about 6 months ago. I've since started going back to watching youtube channels and things with more focus on the reality we live in you might say. Currently reading the Sam Gerrans translation.
